Mary Sue Parody
by SuperDope19
Summary: I hate mary sues,so im making a ridiculously accurate mary sue story. Review please.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own the outsiders,Caryn,or Payton.They own themselves. This is my Mary-Sue parody. I'm not serious,THIS IS A JOKE. I know the ages are wrong, but hey tomato tomahto.

My friends Caryn and Payton and I were walking around downtown in Tulsa. We were in a dark alley when Caryn bent down to tie her shoe. I kicked her in the face.

"Oops, my bad." I said, while Payton and I giggled.

"IM SURE IT WAS,-----!" She cussed me out.

"Oh yeah, you're so tough,Caryn." I said sarcastically. She pulled out a switchblade and a heater.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" I screamed. She pinned me up against the brick wall.

For some reasn she started flapping her arms. "I'm gonna KILL you, Jay!" She yelled at me, I couldn't help but giggle.

Right then three guys came around the corner. Three very handsome, tough looking, boys. One of them grabbed Caryn.

"What the hell is going on here?" He said. Caryn started screaming and bit him. I knew them when I saw them up close, they were part of a gang. Two-Bit Mathews, Dallas Winston, and Johnny Cade.

Caryn explained why she was trying to murder me, and they invited us to the Dingo for a Coca-Cola or a Seven-Up. They went over in a corner and we could hear them whispering. It went a little something like this.

Two-Bit, said "Man, I want the blonde one. The one that was trying to kill her friend! Caryn! I get her man!"

Then Dallas said, "I want the one she was trying to kill. That's one cute redhead! Man, can I have her?"

Then Johnny, " I want the other girl. The shy one. She reminds me of myself, plus she looks about my age."

It worked out perfect because Two-Bit and Caryn were both 17, Me and Dallas were both 16, and Payton and Johnny were both 14. It was perfect-o. Then we went and met the gang and they all loved us. It looked like we were going to have a perfect year this year!


	2. Chapter 2

Well, after we went to the Dingo and all that lovely stuff, we had no where to stay. So Two-Bit offered to let us stay at his house. I was kind of afraid of Two-Bit so I went to stay in a dark alley, and Dallas, being the kind gentleman that he was when around me, offered to come with. Payton decided to go and sleep in the lot, and Johnny decided to go with her, because he hated his parents and Caryn stayed at Bitsies house. Bitsie, being the nickname we had thought up for him.

Spending the night in the alley was really fun. Because Dallas and I played all night long. Cards that is. And when I feel asleep, he put a garbage can over me to keep me warm! How sweet. When I woke up in the morning we got cokes and went to get Two-Bit, Caryn, Johnny, Payton and the rest of the gang. When we got to the Curtis Rez, there was a strange boy there, we didn't know him. He introduced himself as soon as we got into the house "Hi, I'm Tim Shepard." For some reason after he said this his chest puffed out like a blow fish, I thought he might be choking, so I gave him the heimlich manuver, he put me in a half nelson and left.

We just sat around for about twenty minutes, Darry sat in his chair reading a newspaper, Sodapop and Steve were having a pillow fight, Two-Bit was watching Mickey Mouse on TV with Caryn , Johnny and Payton were sitting on the couch talking to Ponyboy about star constellations, while Dally and me sat on in the kitchen, eating choclate cake. It was a normal day at the Curtis house.

Then we decided to walk over to the DX. It was a Sunday, so nothing else was open, but the DX was open all week. We were sitting on the pavement, when a car full of soc's drove by. They got out and typically had a switchblade. Sodapop and Darry were on their feet in 4 seconds, believe me. I counted. Two-Bit just sat there dazed. Then he realized what was happening and he stood up, smashed his bottle, and walked over lazily.

There was four soc's so Dallas walked over and took on one, even though Darry likes to take on two at a time. They saved us, and after the fight Caryn ran over to Two-Bit.

"My hero"

"It's all in a days work for Two-Bit Mathews"

"You're so modest Bitsie"

Then they walked off. I have no clue where they went. Do I even want to know? I doubt it. Then Dallas Johnny Payton and me went to the park. I was sitting on the edge of the big fountain when I feel in. Perfect, I thought. This sure makes me look TUFF in front of Dallas!

"Do you want to go back to Sodapop's house? We can get you some of Pony's clothes, they might fit you, and then we can dry the clothes you have on."

"Okay, I guess..."

And we went off to the Curtis household.


	3. Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: yo,yo,yo. I do not own The Outsiders,Caryn,Payton or even Jay.Jay is me, but Caryn owns me. Whatever.

I got changed just in time, Sodapop and Ponyboy came running in.

"OH MY GOSH JAY! IM GLAD WE FOUND YOU! WE HAVE SOME IMPORTANT QUESTIONS FOR YOU!" Sodapop yelled at me.

"YEAH! WHAT HE SAID!" Ponyboy said quickly.

"'Kay, shoot." I said.

Soda pulled a gun out of a drawer.

"NOT ACTUALLY SHOOT SODA! GET A CLUE!" Ponyboy yelled at him. Then Soda started asking questions.

"Why did the chicken cross the road?" 

"What came first the chicken or the egg?"

"What is better Chicken or Turkey?"

"Is tuna really a fish?"

"Am I cercumsized?"

"Do flyng squirrels really fly?"

"WILL YOU GO TO THE DINGO WITH ME?"

"wh-what?" I asked Ponyboy. Had I heard him correctly? Did he not realize I was with Dally? Whatever.

"I said w-would you like to go to The Dingo with me for a Coke?"

Sodapop's mouth dropped."That,what? PONY! LIVING ROOM! NOW!"

Even though they were in the living room I could hear them whispering. "Pony, she's dating Dallas! Dallas will beat the tar out of you!"

I walked out of the room looking at my feet.

"Umm, I think I should go now..."

"NO. I don't care what Dallas does, would you like to come to The Dingo!" Ponyboy said, Sodapop tried to cover his mouth to shut him up but Pony bit him.

"So uhhhh, will you?" Pony said to me. I just stood there, speechless.

"Umm, sure. Just as long as we don't tell Dallas, kay?"

"My thought exactly."

Then, Ponyboy took my hand and we went for our walk to the Dingo. Soda standing behind us with his jaw dropped.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I own noone.not even myself.so eff off.leave me.well dont leave the story but dont comment on my not owning anything.it makes me sad.so review PLEASE.

So I was walking with Ponyboy when he put a move on me. I punched him in the stomach.

"WHAT THE HELL!" He yelled.

"You kissed me you...You perv!" I yelled back at him from ten feet away.

"Well...I thought you liked me!"

"PSSH, YOU KNOW I LIKE DALLAS YOU PIG!"

Then I ran away and he chased me. We ran around a corner to find Caryn and Two-Bit making out. Two-Bit looked and saw that I was out of breath.

"Ponyboy, have you been hitting on this girl?"

"Maybe."

"PONY! Darry is going to kill. You know I have to tell him. He made me swear to tell him if you got stoned and hit on girls that belong to members of the gang."

"Aww c'mon Two-Bit, be a buddy. Don't tell Dar-Dar."

"Alright. Since I'm so tuff. I won't tell."

Then Payton, Dally and Johnny came around the corner.

"Hey, y'all, I've got a GREAT idea!" Two-Bit yelled, after Ponyboy ran away.

"WHAT?" We all said in unison, because we were just that perfect for each other.

"LET'S ALL GET MARRIED!" Two-Bit yelled. Caryn, Payton and I fainted.

When we woke up we were all wearing the same white dress, and we were in a church.

"Well we might as well get married if we're all coincidentally ready!" Said Caryn.

"Agreed." Said Payton and me at the same time.

"Well...I feel bad for the rest of the gang." Said Payton. It was true. Sandy had left Soda and Evie hated Steve because he called her Soda when they were kissing, and Darry never had time for a girlfriend.And Ponyboy was too young to have a girlfriend, so we decided to invite them and we would each marry TWO people, because we were just SO attractive.

Me, Jay, I married Dallas and Sodapop. Caryn married Two-Bit and Ponyboy, but she never really liked Ponyboy. She just had to choose between him and Darry. Payton married Johnny and Darry, and Steve lived alone his whole life and became a newspaper boy by day and a drag queen by night.

Our perfect little world was perfect and we all lived happily ever after.


End file.
